Jordan began using drugs at age 14
There’s, like, kids at school that were taking pills, smoking weed and stuff. And I was just like, I don’t know, for some reason attracted to those types of people. Like I, you know, wanted to fit in, I think that was the main thing.
The first drug I guess was, um, weed. And nothing really happened the first time, but, um, after that it was alcohol. And, uh, I remember I drank it, and I immediately, like, blacked out shortly afterwards. I was drinking vodka and chasing it with beer. It was, like, at a school lock-in thing. Anyway, I ended up blackening out and puking everywhere, and they called my mom to come pick me up. And, uh, I remember two days later I wanted to do it again because I liked that feeling. But I was trying to figure out how I could, like, do it better that time. Like, I wouldn’t have the same bad result or whatever. So I think from the get-go I had a problem.
Not long after, Jordan began using prescription medication
I would say like in high school and stuff it was mostly, like, pills like OxyContin, morphine and Xanax. Like, every day, kids at school had them. If they got them from their parents or grandparents and just sell them at school. Or I could get them from my family. Whenever I started, you know, I really fell in love with that feeling. And it helped me just feel, I don’t know, I was just never comfortable in my own skin or being around people and just didn’t feel like I fit in. Whenever I was like 16, I ended up stealing some of my brother’s pain pills because he had, like, a sports injury, and I took them from him. And my mom found out and turned me into, like, the juvenile office. And so I ended up getting put on juvenile probation, and she wanted me to stop. And they sent me to like a treatment center one summer. Um, and I kinda, then I knew I had a problem. But I never did anything about it whenever I got out. Like, I think I went to a couple of meetings. And, you know, pretty much my mom was the one who knew I had a problem and some of my immediate family. But I wasn’t able to stop then. There wasn’t enough consequences.
Jordan’s problems escalated
I remember I got pregnant, and I moved out of my mom’s house with this guy. And, uh, after I had my daughter, I started, it started escalating really high. The people I was hanging out with were, um, shooting up drugs, uh, like oxys and morphine and stuff. So I, like, started doing that, too. And, um, that’s when it got pretty bad, I would say. I ended up, my mom ended up taking my daughter, you know, and keeping her. And I went to treatment centers after that to try and quit, and, like, still didn’t. So that’s when my tipping point would be, I think, was probably about 17 when I started shooting up.
…pills like OxyContin, morphine and Xanax. Like, every day, kids at school had them. If they got them from their parents or grandparents and just sell them at school. Or I could get them from my family.
Choices have consequences
I was working a serving job, and, um, I was on like adderall and doing bath salts at the same time. And, um, I was shooting those up. And, uh, anyway, I had gotten into a car wreck on my way home from work one night and ended up injuring my back. And they, the hospital prescribed me pain pills, and I had took them all in like within a couple of days. And, uh, anyway, the next day at work I ended up leaving in the middle of my shift because I was trying to go buy some more pills from somebody because I was actually in pain then. And, uh, they ended up firing me for doing that, and I ran out of money. And I was like really desperate to get more money, so I could get bath salts. And, um, I ended up going into Wal-Mart and stealing this lady’s purse out of her shopping cart and, uh, took off. The cops like showed up at my door a few hours later, and they took me to jail.
Jordan realized she was no longer in control of her life
There was a point in time I remember a specific situation. Uh, I had stayed off the needle for like 8 months one time. And, uh, that was whenever the bath salts thing got introduced to me. And, um, I heard you could shoot it up. And I was, like, I knew I couldn’t successfully use a needle and not stop or only do it once. And I remember in my head I was thinking, you know, like, “Okay, you can, I can only do it just this time and you know it’ll just feel good once, and then I’ll stop.” But the other part of my brain was telling me, like, “No, it’s going to be bad. You can’t do it.” And, um, you know, I still did it anyway. So I think, at that point, I remember, like, I don’t know. That just one specific situation where I had no control, you know. And it all, it’s, I don’t know. The whole time I used drugs or drank I didn’t really have much control. From about a year into it on, I just couldn’t, I would tell myself things like, “This isn’t going to happen,” you know, “I’m not going to blackout and piss people off,” or “I’m not going to, you know, steal,” or “I’m not going to lie to my mom again,” or “I’m not going to cheat on my boyfriend.” And, you know, I would just do all those things I said I wasn’t going to do, and worse, most of the time.
My mom ended up taking my daughter, you know, and keeping her. And I went to treatment centers after that to try and quit, and, like, still didn’t.
Jordan decided to get help with her addiction
The reason why I, you know, finally stopped, I think I was more in the beginning pushed into it because I had gotten myself into so much trouble to where, you know, I had got put into prison. That, I, that’s whenever I, that was my tipping point, my stopping point. Which by then I had, you know, a few months to actually sober up and take a step back and look at things. But, um, you know, it wasn’t even just like being in there. Because I remember whenever I was in there my family wouldn’t talk to me, my mom wouldn’t want to answer my phone calls, you know. I was pregnant about to lose another child, and I don’t know. That was my tipping point was, you know, being in there. And I made the decision that, like, I didn’t want to do that anymore. I didn’t want to live like that anymore. Which I had felt like that before in the past when I’ve been in treatment centers. And, like, this time even I wasn’t sure if it was actually, like, I was actually going to stay sober. I knew I really, really wanted to, and I knew, like, people went to meetings and worked the steps and stuff and that works so that’s what I did. I was just really scared to go back to that way of life.
It can’t happen to me
Whenever I did first start using, you know, at like 14/15ish, I didn’t, yeah, I never thought that it would of, that it would end up as bad as it did. Um, especially, you know, to the point where, you know, of not having places to live or, you know, going to jail and so many treatment centers and things like that. I never would have imagined that. And I know even at the end of my using and stuff I still kind of would have that mentality of, like, I didn’t think it was going to happen to me. Like being in jail pregnant. I didn’t think I was going to go to prison. I thought, “No, that won’t happen.” Um, and, you know, it does. It does happen, and things just continue to get worse.
A new way of thinking and a new way of life
I’ve been, uh, physically sober for 2 years, but I’ve been sober, you know, outside of prison for a year and a half. Um, I actually work for my mom now. You know, we get along pretty good. Uh, we never like, this is the closest we’ve ever been my whole life. Like, I have never been this close to her, and you know, my siblings like me now. My grandparents are no longer alive, but um, you know, it is. My relationship with my family is great now, better than I could have ever imagined you know.
Jordan turned her life around
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